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# 21
May 24, 2022
An Alien, a Golden Calf and Moses Walk Into a Bar
Exodus 30-32

Yahweh provides decontamination instructions. He and Moses are annoyed by a Golden Calf. Moses orders a 9/11 worth of deaths as punishment.

What if god was...

Burgess Meredith

@ 58:00
What if god was...Burgess Meredith?
What if god was...

an Evolved Dinosaur

@ 56:10
What if god was...an Evolved Dinosaur?
Rusty hates...

Canada

@ 10:57

...they're white people, too - they're racist, too...they treated their natives worse than we treated our natives...their hockey program had massive racial issues - They've got nothing to laugh at us about... EP 34: 2:22: Fuck the canadians, too. They're like the nice version of Southerners.

Rusty hates...Canada
Rusty hates...

Donald Trump

@ 1:27:18

...a fucking piece of shit like him...you gotta call a piece of shit a piece of shit...

Rusty hates...Donald Trump
Rusty hates...

Ronald & Nancy Reagan

@ 1:30:17

...Fuck Ronald Reagan and fuck his piece of shit wife, too...

Rusty hates...Ronald & Nancy Reagan
WTC
I'm burning all of these people for worshiping some idol! Please don't! OK. And then this Moses character did this:

Exodus 32:25: The Golden Calf:

When Moses saw that the people were out of control...Moses stood in the gate of the camp and said, Who is on the Lord’s side? Come to me! And all the sons of Levi gathered around him...Put your sword on your side, each of you! Go back...and each of you kill your brother, your friend, and your neighbor....and about three thousand of the people fell on that day. Moses said...brought a blessing on yourselves this day.

9-11 much, Moses? Infidels worshiping a different god? Let's recruit some fanatics and have them fly a plane into our neighbors, our friends, our brothers...

MOSES IS WORSE THAN GARBAGE.

scott
The Wachowskis came up with an incredibly original idea when they dreamed (dreamt) up The Matrix! Wait, that concept was spoken of before???
@ 38:15, Scott saw The Light...

Exodus 35:31:

...he has filled him with a divine spirit, with ability, intelligence, and knowledge, and with every kind of skill, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, in every kind of artistic craft.

He has filled them with skill to do every kind of work done by an artisan or by a designer or by an embroiderer...or by a weaver—by any sort of skilled worker or designer.

scott
Those crazy-neutral Swedes came up with a completely original idea...gold in a beverage! Goldschläger! Wait, what?!? This was done before...as a form of punishment?!? This should probably be listed as an Atrocity...but I've been coming up short on Revelations.
@ 1:18:24, Scott saw The Light...

Exodus 32:20:

He (Moses) took the (golden) calf that they had made, burned it with fire, ground it to powder, scattered it on the water, and made the Israelites drink it.

rusty
@ 11:02, Rusty says:
Canadians...They're white people too - they're racist, too - they treated their natives horribly

Wikipedia says:

From the late 18th century, European Canadians (and the Canadian government) encouraged assimilation of Aboriginal culture into what was referred to as "Canadian culture." These attempts reached a climax in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, with a series of initiatives that aimed at complete assimilation and subjugation of the Aboriginal peoples. These policies, which were made possible by legislation such as the Gradual Civilization Act and the Indian Act, focused on European ideals of Christianity, sedentary living, agriculture, and education.

rusty
@ 11:37, Rusty says:
As a fan of Hockey...the black kids who went through the junior programs in Canada had massive racial issues and prejudices they had to deal with.

MACLEAN'S says:

Black hockey players on loving a sport that doesn't love them back

In 2020, hockey's racial reckoning came to a head. Here, 10 Black hockey players share their experiences with racism on the ice.

constructionist (Dictionary.com) - Episode 21 at 46:10
noun
  1. a person who construes or interprets, especially laws or the like, in a specific manner: a strict constructionist.
mercurial (Dictionary.com) - Episode 21 at 1:11:25
adjective
  1. changeable; volatile; fickle; flighty; erratic: a mercurial nature.
  2. animated; lively; sprightly; quick-witted.
  3. pertaining to, containing, or caused by the metal mercury.
stiff-necked (Dictionary.com) - Episode 21 at 1:11:03
adjective
  1. having a stiff neck; having torticollis.
  2. haughty and obstinate; refractory.
  3. haughtily stubborn or obstinate

Episodes

# 98
Mar 09, 2024
Yoke's On You
1 Kings 11-12

State of the Pod. State of the Union. State of the Subway. State of the NYPD. State of the Enemies.

# 97
Mar 06, 2024
A Word From Our Sponsor: Yahweh
1 Kings 9-10

Another recording from Rusty's sofa. Another message from Yahweh to Solomon. Another justification for murder and slavery. Another mysterious woman brought before an Israelite King.

# 96
Feb 19, 2024
Bleeting and Babbling
1 Kings 8

Back to a semi-regular recording schedule. Yahweh out. Rusty's smart...according to many, many people. Solomon babbles.

Check Out All of Our Episodes

Exclusive Bonus Content

Our bonus content is hosted at patreon.com/libelthebible. Head over to check out some free previews at no obligation!
Mar 28, 2024

El Camino: A Libel the Bible Tale spun by A.I.

In the back of an El Camino, an unlikely fusion of ancient relic and vintage automobile, the Ark of the Covenant rests - a juxtaposition of sacred and mundane. Let us weave this improbable scene...

Scott asked A.I. to generate some images and a story about the Ark of The Covenant in the back of an El Camino. Read the fascinating A.I.-generated story behind this A.I.-generated image.

May 16, 2023

Bible behind 'cry out' rape rule cited in E. Jean Carroll trial

"Why didn't you cry out?" is a question women hear after having suffered a sexual assault. We examine the origin for this attitude.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Read the article we're talking about at Free Thought Now!

Apr 27, 2023

FFRF ready to take on Texas Ten Commandments edict

We discuss a bill to erect the Ten Commandments in every public school classroom that was voted through the Texas Senate chamber and is on its way to becoming law.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Read the article we're talking about at Freedom From Religion Foundation

Check Out All of the Bonus Content

What if god was...

What if god was...a cartoonist?

a cartoonist

Episode 70
@ 59:23
What if god was...A Turn-Based RPG Player?

A Turn-Based RPG Player

Episode 66
@ 30:47
What if god was...A Pill Head?

A Pill Head

Episode 61
@ 32:31
Check Out All of the More Likely Alternatives

Atrocities

GibeahsCrime
Knock. Knock. Who's there? Homosexual Rape Gang. Please don't rape this strange man I have taken in. Please, take his concubine and my virgin daughter and do what you will to them. Alright, just take the concubine and rape her to death.

Judges 19:22-30: Gibeah's Crime:

...the men of the city, a perverse lot, surrounded the house..."Bring out the man who came into your house, so that we may have intercourse with him." "No, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. Since this man is my guest, do not do this vile thing. Here are my virgin daughter and his concubine...Ravish them and do whatever you want to them, but against this man do not do such a vile thing." ...They wantonly raped her and abused her all through the night until the morning...

Episode 70
Jabesh-Gilead
Hey, who didn't show up for the meeting? Jabesh-Gilead, huh? Go kill every man, woman, child, and animal - except for 400 virgins. We'll give them to the remaining Benjaminites who chose Civil War over giving up rapists, and then proceeded to hide like little bitches after running from the battle.

Judges 21: The Benjaminites Saved from Extinction:

...not one of the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead was there..."Go, put the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead to the sword, including the women and the little ones...they found among the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead four hundred young virgins...when the young women of Shiloh come out to dance...come out of the vineyards and...carry off a wife...and go to the land of Benjamin

Episode 70
SamsonRiddle
Hey! Solve this riddle and I'll give you 30 party outfits. Wait?!? You got the answer from my wife?!? Watch where I get your fucking party clothes from!

Judges 14:19: Samson’s Marriage:

Then the spirit of the Lord rushed on him, and he went down to Ashkelon. He killed thirty men of the town, took their spoil, and gave the festal garments to those who had explained the riddle.

Episode 68
Check Out All of the Atrocities

Rusty hates...

Hollywood Narcissism

Rusty hates...Hollywood Narcissism

I hate Hollywood Narcissism

Episode 64 @ 13:04

Drinking Alcohol

Rusty hates...Drinking Alcohol

I hate drinking, by the way. I gotta tell you...

Episode 50 @ 5:26

Drunks

Rusty hates...Drunks

People on alcohol are pieces of shit. I hate drunks.

Episode 39 @ 21:29
Check Out All of the Hate

Revelations

preNatalCare
The Bible gives out the first pre-natal care advice!
In Episode 68 @ 36:14, We saw The Light...

Judges: 13 3-5:

And the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, "Although you are barren, having borne no children, you shall conceive and bear a son. Now be careful not to drink wine or strong drink or to eat anything unclean, for you shall conceive and bear a son.

footOnNeck
I work with a guy who is always saying he's gonna put his foot on the neck of someone. Where does he get such dumb ideas?
In Episode 60 @ 38:02, Scott saw The Light...

Joshua 10:24:

When they brought the kings out to Joshua, Joshua summoned all the Israelites and said to the chiefs of the warriors who had gone with him, “Come near, put your feet on the necks of these kings.” Then they came near and put their feet on their necks

mantle
"Dismantle" came from The Bible! Ya see, Achan swiped a mantle - he DISmantled a house!
In Episode 59 @ 38:42, Scott saw The Light...

Joshua 7:1-26 & Dictionary.com:

Dictionary.com says dismantle means: To strip of furnishings or equipment. Since the mantle "stolen" by Achan is the first reference to stripped furnishings, it only stands to reason that "dismantle" would be chosen as the word to mean such a thing.

Check Out All of the Revelations

Fact Checks

Tay-Sachs
In Episode 69 @ 12:30, A Patreon Supporter says:
Tay-Sachs is a degenerative, neurological disease common in certain Jewish populations...if you only inherit one Tay-Sachs mutation, you do not get the disease, but you do get some immunity to tuberculosis...

Wikipedia says:

...Approximately 1 in 3,600 Ashkenazi Jews at birth are affected... ...Carriers of a single Tay–Sachs allele are typically normal. It has been hypothesized that being a carrier may confer protection from tuberculosis, explaining the persistence of the allele in certain populations...

BonnevilleSaltFlats
In Episode 69 @ 1:07:23, Scott says:
I don't think we own the (Bonneville) Salt Flats anymore. I think Spain actually owns the Salt Flats.

Wikipedia says:

The Bonneville Salt Flats are a densely packed salt pan in Tooele County in northwestern Utah, United States. ... It is public land managed by the Bureau of Land Management and is known for land speed records at the Bonneville Speedway. Access to the Flats is open to the public.

JamesWebb
In Episode 68 @ 1:02:10, Scott says:
The James Webb telescope only images infrared light.

NASA says:

Although Webb images are infrared, they can be translated by computer into a visible picture. Additionally Webb can see orange and red visible light.

Check Out All of the Fact Checks

Vocabulary

teraphim (Dictionary.com) - Episode 69 at 1:00:54
noun
  1. idols or images reverenced by the ancient Hebrews and kindred peoples, apparently as household gods
festal (Dictionary.com) - Episode 68
adjective
  1. pertaining to or befitting a feast, festival, holiday, or gala occasion
gander (Dictionary.com) - Episode 67 at 45:11
noun
  1. the male of the goose.
Check Out All of the Vocabulary Words

Memes

We like to give credit where credit is due. If you know the creative source of any of these memes, let us know!

Check Out All of our Collected Memes

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