You like it over there? Good. Go there. Moses lays out a very narrow, perilous pathway for the congregation to follow to the land of Milk and Urine. It's official: Rusty is just SOOO much f'ing smarter than Scott!
State of the Pod. State of the Union. State of the Subway. State of the NYPD. State of the Enemies.
Another recording from Rusty's sofa. Another message from Yahweh to Solomon. Another justification for murder and slavery. Another mysterious woman brought before an Israelite King.
Back to a semi-regular recording schedule. Yahweh out. Rusty's smart...according to many, many people. Solomon babbles.
We get back into the flow of recording. Solomon builds a temple. We provide the details.
Scott yells at cloud...and Madonna. Solomon dreams Yahweh makes him wise; immediately orders child to be cut in half to solve custody dispute.
We're back in the studio. David's back in the warm embrace of Yahweh. Solomon settles all family business.
Free Palestine vs Israel. We give our measured take. David receives a beautiful, young virgin to keep warm at night. A bloodless coup is almost successful. David's successor is hailed by Israel.
We're back. Annnnddddd we're gone. David's back. And he's gone.
Scott's action packed weekend. Praise for our legacy listeners. An upstart's downfall. Joab kills again...again.
Scott's Metrocard journey. Rusty's doomed fandom. Absalom's fatal donkey ride. David's back in Israel.
Car talk. We discuss age limits for legislators. Mandela Effect. David experiences elevation sickness. Absalom plots to capture his father.
NYC's lawless hellscape. Why Israel? Manatee sex. Absalom rises. David flees.
Scott makes offensive Maui jokes. Rusty attempts to explain "onomatopoeia" to Scott. David learns of a man and his love for his ewe. Yahweh inflicts death upon the House of David.
Rusty's sapped and Scott's forced to carry the show. He goes on to dissect his taste in comedy. David has a taste for war. David's kindness is met with cynicism.
Scott's reading. Trump's indicted. Yahweh's Covenanting. The Ark's electrical current wreaks havoc. David prays
Mailbag time. Rusty's Six Flags ban. David's enemies are conveniently killed "unbeknownst" to him. David takes Jerusalem and rule over all the tribes of Israel.
We examine the likelihood of the universe being twice its age. We attempt to decipher Smurfettes true genus. We ponder who has a greater sense of self importance, Trump or Yahweh. And we read about David's ascension to the throne of Judah.
Our Season Finale! Scott admits his credentials are worthless. We're making Libelites a thing! (?) Rusty is old (again!). David isn't trusted by the Philistines. The Philistines defeat Saul.
Iodine continues to have opinions that annoy Rusty. Scott tries to play both sides, thereby ensuring victory for himself. Saul continues to play one side; trying to kill David. David finds a new wife.
Rusty's feeling out of sorts, but is still able to focus long enough to read some feedback. David stays on the run. Saul stays on the hunt.
Jonathan loves David. Saul hates David. Samuel's in a frenzy. David and Jonathan consummate under a starry sky. Holy bread for virgins.
Rusty's triggered by show feedback. David is triggered by the trash talk of an uncircumcised Philistine. An anti-climactic battle ensues.
We expose Big Turbine for the threat it is. Trump's indictment. Saul makes up rules. Saul breaks rules. Saul is stripped of his kingship.
Rusty deletes OG Episode 75. Scott deletes his local "Pissaria." Nahash deletes Israelite eyes. Samuel deletes Judges. Saul deletes Ammonites.
Scott brainstorms ways to maintain an easy going Rusty. Black Hole Suns. Samuel is forced to anoint a King.
Murder next door! Barcodes on Priests! Samuel gets an important call. The Ark is put in play! The Ark is taken! The Ark is promptly returned! The Philistines live up to their name.
Scott's comedy journey. Jordan Neely's last journey. Rusty's spoken word journey. Hannah's conception journey. Samuel's ascension journey.
Scott's day at a gay friendly bar has his brain foggy. Rusty dissects the mystery of Kamala Harris's success. We discuss the concept of nostalgia and why it's not alway appropriate. Ruth sticks with her mother-in law.
Just when you thought you knew the Israelites, they reveal themselves to be kidnapping, gang rapists, willing to start a civil war. Actually, if you've listened to any of our episodes, you know exactly who these scumbags are.
We're very excited to do 69---I mean episode 69. We talk Lebowski, Reefer Madness and The Expanse. Samson and Delilah turns out to be quite the toxic relationship. Let's not forget Dan; everyone else seems to have.
Rusty declares war on the audience! Scott declares war on COCKPUNCH! Rusty explains the Twitter Files. We're introduced to Samson and quickly learn that he's a human wrecking ball.
Rusty mocks one of our paying customers. Scott likes our new format. Donald Trump indictment. Judges. More Judges and even more Judges.
As a result of our audience's apathy, we're forced to be sponsored by DeSantis 2024! If you don't want Alex Jones next, go to Patreon.com/libelthebible and become a Patron.
Trump's indictment. Rusty's emotional needs. Scott's felonious childhood friends. Baal is once again disrespected by Yahweh and his cult.
In this episode we engage in a good old fashioned Bible reading. So open your Bibles to Judges 4 to read along. Also, Zig Heil salutes, Silicon Valley Bank rants, and the usual nonsense we spew from our mouth holes.
Is Scott too white? Are humans inherently selfish? What happens to circumcised foreskins? Who are the Judges? Why are the Israelites so stubborn?
We attempt to connect with the youth by learning Gen Z phrases. Speaking of youth, Joshua understood the assignment and simped for Yahweh. He divided up the remaining Canaanite land, gave a succinct and eloquent farewell speech, and died.
Scott appeals to the 18-25 demographic by regaling them with stories of his dad's 80th birthday party. A Selena Gomez feud comes across Rusty's radar. Joshua apportions land based on ancient covenants and pragmatic necessity. That's it. We tried.
Scott considers Vista the Esau of Operating Systems. As his idols age and die, Rusty ponders his own mortality. Scott doesn't give a fuck! Joshua's army eradicates much of Canaan and Yahweh's promise is fulfilled.
We cancel our ballooning plans until the whole blowing them up thing dies down. Scott impresses his boss- NOT- with dad jokes. Achan's home remodeling plans are dismantled. The Gibeonites find out it's tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that's right on time.
Scott desires to be more like Apollo Creed. I wanna fight a goose. Joshua wants to fight Jericho. Lots of circumcisions. Yahweh's commands are followed without deviation or questioning.
Scott works through his Moses directed anger. Rusty works through his hockey directed anger. The rest of the episode is filled with spies, brothels and The Promised Land!
We complete our journey through the first 5 books of the Bible, otherwise known as The Torah and ask ourselves if we're now as knowledgeable as Rabbinical scholars. Moses sings. Yahweh taunts.
Rusty claims his Israeli birthright. Scott realizes he loves the minutiae of Israeli Law. Moses introduces Joshua as his replacement. Yahweh doesn't miss an opportunity to tell Moses about his impending death and the ultimate downfall of the stiff necked Israelites.
A serendipitous meeting of an Intactivist and an adult who circumcised himself. Scott can't escape his family. Sorry... with his family from an escape room. The Israelites can't escape from Moses's continued droning about the end-user covenant agreement for worshiping Yahweh. H.W. assignment: Read Deuteronomy 28:15-End
Scott spruces up the studio with sound dampening solutions and asks all the important questions about testicles. Moses spruces up Canaan making soldiers bury their shit.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and see you in the New Year with new episodes.
Murder! War! Sex! We just don't know what else anyone would want from a podcast.
It's our Golden Episode Anniversary! Come celebrate by hearing about Israelite rules for stonings, sit-downs with Yahweh, selecting kings and being a soothsayer.
Rusty breaks down antisemitism...and then thanks god for it. Maybe Moses masterminded the escape from Egypt without god’s help, after all. Don’t get too cozy with your master. Ya herd? Primordial social media makes it’s debut. YA HERD?!?
Rusty's appropriate amount of drug use leads him to want to give away the cow for free. Moses lets the Israelites know they've had it easy thus far. You wanna eat? Eat. This tabernacle reeks!
You like it over there? Good. Go there. Moses lays out a very narrow, perilous pathway for the congregation to follow to the land of Milk and Urine. It's official: Rusty is just SOOO much f'ing smarter than Scott!
Moses rambles on...in the talkative way. The Germans...The French...The French Canadians...The Japanese...Rusty's got enough for all y'all. Two "R" words have an "R" word-drench conversation about the "R" word. Everyone agrees - Rusty is well worth $5 per month.
The Libel The Bible Bible project is unveiled! Rusty receives a well-earned promotion! All of Yahweh's rules boil down to a single Great Commandment: Yahweh 24/7 or pay dearly. Pete eats pumpkins - when not falling out of arks. Don't play cards with cheating-ass, hornets-up-his-sleeve Yahweh.
The congregation is just about ready to cross the threshold. Moses prattles on and on to the younger generation of stiff-necks. It's a classic case of, "Do as Yahweh says, not as I do."
Our recording marathon continued, getting together for a third night in a row. Moses lays the first recorded Jewish guilt trip on the Israelites. Yahweh tells Moses to look around and take in everything he won't be a part of.
Due to Scott's incompetence, we rerecorded this episode after missing our Tuesday morning deadline. We discuss.
Scott's off his meds!!! The Gads and the Rubes are off the farm. Yahweh is off his rocker.
Yahweh's repetitiveness is getting annoying. We identify the origin of misogyny. More war and rape and kidnapping. Basically, another few Biblical chapters.
Rusty hates Law Enforcement. Yahweh hates Baal. Phineas the Incel hates other people getting some.
In this episode: Talking donkeys! The Angel of Death! Yahweh Blessings! Confused Canaanites! Madness!
Miriam dies. Aaron dies. Canaanites die. The Israelites are dying of thirst. No promised land for Moses!
The legitimacy of Moses and Aaron is questioned by the people. Yahweh opens up the earth and swallows all dissenters. More rules to follow.
Moses recruits spies to peep on Canaanite kingdoms. The Israelites start to realize they're gonna have to fight if they want their "promised" land. Yahweh kills 15,000 Israelites.
After over 1 year at the base of Sinai, the Israelites are finally on the move at which point they realize all they've been eating this entire time is manna! Aaron and Miriam shoot their shot against Moses. Yahweh does Yahweh shit (you know, give people plagues and disease for almost no reason).
Yahweh, fearful of earthly yuck, once again reminds the Israelites about contamination. Yahweh establishes a gynecological practice. Abortion! Nazirites! Forced Abortion! Nazirites!
Rusty had a planned trip coming up fast. We planned to record some extra episodes to ensure we could continue to make our Tuesday release date. So I had to F that all up by going out and getting me some COVID. I decided to to put together a Season 1 Highlight Reel.
Season 4 Premiere. There's a reason it's called the Book of Numbers.
30th Episode, Season Finale BONANZA EPISODE in which Yahweh lets these stiff-necks know what's what.
Yahweh explains the Jubilee Year to the Israelites. For example, what to do with those pesky slaves and deadbeat relatives who borrowed money. It's a once in a lifetime event you won't wanna miss.
Yahweh continues to hold the Israelites hostage at the base of Sinai. In addition to everything else, he reveals himself to be an ableist and possibly a genetic supremacist.
Rusty ponders mortality and the pain of death. Yahweh gives his thoughts on hairstyles, tattoos, wizards and sex. Who the fuck is Molech?
Yahweh talks about genital leakages. Because it wasn't extensive enough before, we get more instructions on killing animals. Sexual no-nos.
Yahweh burns people alive. Moses displays his lack of empathy and human emotion. The Israelites get a lesson on what's kosher and what's not. Scott falls deeper and deeper down the alien rabbit hole.
God can't stand the stiff-necked Israelites, but lays out the rituals they need to perform to be clean in his presence.
We close out Exodus, but not before Scott goes all-in and reveals himself to be a literalist. Rusty gets pissy. Yahweh does Yahweh shit.
Yahweh professes his dislike of the Israelites, then spits some serious Gangsta bars. Moses gets irradiated. The Covenant gets retold.
Yahweh provides decontamination instructions. He and Moses are annoyed by a Golden Calf. Moses orders a 9/11 worth of deaths as punishment.
Yahweh wants Moses to pimp his tent. He likes gold, fine linens and oddly specific dimensions. And he wants that chef master grill for his twice daily offerings.
God details His laws of justice, farming and festivals. More conquest promises (where have we heard these before?).
Virgins are valuable. Beastiality is bad. Don't fuck with a man's ox. 0% interest rates. It never ends with I Am and His fucking laws!
God blesses us with Ten Commandments and tells us how to treat slaves, because that's a totally acceptable thing.
God decides to appear before the Nation of Israel and descends upon Mt. Sinai. We're not saying it was Aliens...but was it Aliens? We make a case for why that's more reasonable than a divine being appearing.
We analyze God using the DSM and give Him a psychological diagnosis. The Israelites cross the Red Sea and invent the musical. God threatens the Israelites...but only if they're disobedient.
God continues his kill count and the Israelites celebrate their first Passover; you know...cause of the murdered Egyptian babies.
Yahweh does his best Dr. Dre impression and reminds everyone he's the OG (capital "G"), but instead of bars, he's spitting blood...and frogs. Oh, and flies and gnats. It's the beginning of the plagues.
The Israelites are oppressed for centuries. Our hero, Moses is introduced, and immediately commits murder. God attempts to murder. A talking bush and an ad hoc circumcision. Normal Bible stuff.
Season 1 Finale: Jacob's sons reconcile and reminisce. Awkward. The Israelites move to Egypt where they'll finally find acceptance and totally won't become slaves. Right? Jacob's last words to his sons.
THE TENTH EPISODE EXTRAVAGANZA: Joseph becomes Zoltar™ and reads everyone's fortunes. The Pharaoh Pimps Joseph's Ride™ (and his clothes). Family reunion with Joseph's conniving brothers! A surprising lack of sex crimes.
Fratricide? ✓ Slavery? ✓ Prostitution? ✓ God killing people? ✓ False Rape Accusations? ✓ Ejaculation? ✓ Join us for another tale of God's favorite family.
Esau reunites with Jacob. Jacob's daughter gets raped, but it's ok, cause the rapist loves her; and he's rich. Circumcisions for everyone! Death for everyone! Isaac's still alive? WTF is going on? We discuss it all.
Rachel pimps her "maid" to Jacob. Leah pimps her "maid" to Jacob. Jacob is living the life, but it's time to go home, but not before a night of literal wrestling with God. The only problem is that vendetta Esau swore against him.
Again with famine. Again my wife, my sister. Again with a covenant. Again with a brother's fury. The Phicol matter is about to hit the fan.
A nice family story of incest, filicide and sibling betrayal. You know, family friendly Sunday morning entertainment.
Dysfunctional families are apparently not a new phenomenon. Blink-and-you-miss-them wars, rescue operations, fire and brimstone - none of which could prepare us for the depravity in a far-off cave.
God's not happy and has a plan; Extinction! Well...not entirely. Noah's cool.
Creation in 6 and a 1/4 days. Eden. Adam and Eve. Cain and Abel. We discuss all of it.
Two atheists from Queens, NY read the Bible (not on air, you maniacs!) for the first time in their lives and get together to record a show about the experience. Expulsion from Eden? Planet wide extinction event? Raining fire and brimstone? Rising from the dead? We're gonna have some thoughts. Religion, pop culture, irreverent comedy and maybe a curse word here or there.